


Just Fine

by DeCuvieri



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Fluff, M/M, it's fluff, it's strictly shameless tacky loving fluff and nothing more
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:21:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24434239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeCuvieri/pseuds/DeCuvieri
Summary: Relationships are hard, especially when they don't have to be.
Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Male Shepard
Comments: 2
Kudos: 45





	Just Fine

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this back in 2012. Found it in a mess of other drabbles on my old Dreamwidth (lol remember that shit?), decided to give it a slight rework and post here for posterity. Ta-daaa.
> 
> I did change the tenses from past to present, so if you see any remnants that disrupt the narrative flow don't feel bad about pointing them out. I tried to proofread it, but ya'all know how difficult it can be to catch your own mistakes.

Kaidan’s wedding band is made out of stainless steel.

Theirs was always going to be an unconventional relationship, having been built upon the penultimate struggle of life and death. They'd gotten through the war together. They'd worked through their complicated history together. The greatest obstacles were well behind them. They should have had peace after victory, but as they quickly learned the future would present new challenges. The syndicates and shadow governments which emerged from the ruins didn’t compare to the old enemies in scale or power, yet the danger was still pressing and each mission could always be the last.

Saviors of the galaxy or not, they were bound by their duty. Spectres rarely retire or die from old age. It's not a happy thought, but they found solace in the knowledge that whatever good they do now won't one day be invalidated by a second coming of the Reapers. That chapter's closed and they had played their roles. The responsibility of tomorrow is now back in the hands of billions of other people. Besides, falling in love in the face of total annihilation had taught Kaidan Alenko and John Shepard not to overlook the present for fear of what the future might bring. In keeping with the philosophy of ignoring those concerns which originate in what-ifs and maybes, one of them decides to move things forward.

It seemed soulless to simply _buy_ a ring. Hard to believe any trinket in a glass case could possibly be a suitable representation for how Kaidan felt about John. Gold? Too generic. Platinum? The Normandy had chunks of the stuff lying around the cargo bay for utilitarian purposes. It was hard to instill emotional value in something made out of the rocks crowding the lower deck. So… what then? Titanium? Tungsten? Two-tone? Hell, Kaidan had no idea where to go with the choice. He was still scrutinizing his options with a creeping sense of hopelessness when he called his mom to tell her the news. Shepard would be returning from an assignment in three weeks. They scheduled leave to spend some time together, and while they were on vacation Kaidan was going to propose. It was through that conversation Mrs. Alenko solved her son’s problem by offhandedly asking if he was giving John the family ring.

“Don’t feel pressured if you’ve picked a different one, honey.”

“I thought dad’s ring was gone,” Kaidan says quietly. He remembered that band with all the scuffs across the white-gold finish. Not once had he ever seen his father without it, not even when working with the tools and machinery that had banged it up so badly over the years. He would have been wearing it when the Reapers moved in, but... they never found it.

“No, no. Not that one,” his mom corrects. “Your great pappy’s ring. We’ve been hanging on to it until somebody had a girl, but you could give it to Jonathan. It’s up to you. My feelings won’t be hurt if you don’t.”

A couple of days later Kaidan swings by his childhood home. They're blessed in that their property had been spared by the invasion when others not far from them had been overrun; seeing the place is both comforting and jarring after flying over acres that had been decimated or burned. His mother has taken refugees into the house and the orchards are guarded by military troops after their use was appropriated for relief efforts, but once he sees his mother and she takes him to the safe in the bedroom the feeling of simpler times sets in easily.

His great grandfather’s ring is traditional. Simple. Outwardly it's identical to a dozen other gold rings he’d seen in the catalogs and in much better shape than his dad’s was, but Kaidan knows right away it's the only ring he could put on his partner's finger. Heirlooms are a precious commodity in their post-Reaper world. It was only because of John that this ring would be worn by another generation of Alenko’s, so it only felt right he be the one to wear it. It was the culmination of Kaidan's adoration, heritage, and gratitude all neatly smelted into an ideal token of love. Kaidan sweeps his mom up in a hug and insists, “It’s perfect. He’ll love it” when she again starts up about not wanting him to feel pressured. When he leaves hours later Kaidan still isn't sure she's convinced.  
  
After the ring problem is figured out Kaidan lays down the rest of his plan. A twenty minutes’ ride from their place is a lake. There, along the northern shoreline is an old wooden dock that juts out over the water. The summer house which used to be tucked in the nearby trees burned down years ago — not during the attack, but probably from an electrical fire or something as the abandoned property fell into disrepair. Nobody bothered to rebuild it, but the dock is still standing and a good place for quiet picnics or fishing. The place fascinates Shepard, a Navy brat who'd grown up on starships never knowing the cool breezes blowing off the water on grey, misty mornings. Popping the question in a place he could enjoy a tiny bit of natural beauty he’d fought so hard to save seemed fitting.  
  
...What actually ends up happening is Shepard's flight home is delayed by poor weather. An enormous storm system leaves most Sunshine Coast residents waiting out the downpour in their homes, and for two lovers cooped up after having not seeing each other in a month there's really only one way to pass the time. All carefully laid plans go out the window. Lying in bed with Shepard in his arms, feeling spent and satisfied and not having recovered all his faculties from the rush of hormones just yet, Kaidan presses a kiss to his partner’s temple and whispers, “Marry me, John.”  
  
“Hmm. Took you long enough.” Shepard's still catching his breath, and his skin is hot as he curls into Kaidan’s side. “We’re not exactly getting any younger.”  
  
Kaidan laughs and cedes it's true, though he does spend much of the evening proving to his new fiancé that they still have plenty of life in them.  
  


* * *

  
John is all over the ring the moment it's presented to him. Kaidan, simply relieved and making conversation, goes into the whole story about visiting six different stores hunting for the perfect piece only to find nothing measured up to the family ring sitting in his mom’s jewelry box that he'd never known about. He lays out the history and shares the personal meaning behind it, only blushing a little at how sappy he sounds. Kaidan expects Shepard to smirk and poke fun at him for overthinking everything _again_ , but his partner's face turns solemn. 

"What's wrong?"

“I can ask my mom, but I’m pretty sure we don’t have anything like this. Spacers, you know? We don't keep a lot of stuff.” John answers, mouth twisting in thought as he cups the ring in the palm of his hand. “You put a lot of thought into finding something special. I wish I could give you the same.”  
  
Mentally kicking himself for putting the pressure on Shepard, Kaidan assures him there are no outlandish expectations. He'd be happy with whatever John got him; it needn't have some big emotional connection. Shepard listens to him and nods. Then he pulls his dog tags over his head, undoes the ball clasp, and threads the chain through the ring. When he puts the necklace back on it dangles beside John’s tags, which is where it'll stay most of the time. Military dress code doesn't allow for jewelry, and rings can get caught on things.

 _Just as well_ , Kaidan thinks because it needs resizing.  
  
“You’re going to have to give that back before the wedding.”  
  
“I know,” Shepard says as he smiles down at the gold hoop, then at Kaidan before leaning in for a kiss.  
  


* * *

  
A few months pass. Life and work go on as normal. Kaidan is in the middle of a ten-week stint aboard a turian frigate, providing his “biotic expertise and tactical advice” to a fledgling cabal unit. In other words, he's talent scouting for potential Spectre candidates at the behest of the Hierarchy. Years later it's proven that Joker was right all along: only an idiot believes the official explanation.  
  
The mission parameters require a total communications blackout, something Shepard knows full well. That's why the major is surprised when the _Sangra Mar_ nears a comm buoy and his omni-tool lights up with a message alert.  
  
 _Sorry to ping you, but it’s important. You got a metal preference? -J_  
  
It takes him a moment to realize what John's talking about. Once he does, he huffs with exasperation.

“Are you kidding me?” The officer in him can't help but frown on the breach of protocol but his affection for Shepard squashes it. If John is having half as much trouble finding a ring as he did then some sympathy is warranted. Kaidan has to flash his Spectre authority to the captain to break operational silence, but he sends his reply.  
  
 _I trust you to pick. Now shut up before you get me in trouble. Miss you. -K_  
  
He watches his device’s interface roll an upload icon until the confirmation message pops up. Kaidan sighs, wishing so much that he could have answered in person. Just six more weeks.  
  


* * *

  
They’d been watching a movie, some artsy film about a pair of high society asari called _Vaenia._ It reminds Kaidan of the black-and-white human classics about beautiful women leading glamorous lives, falling in love, all that. The film doesn't appeal to him beyond being something to watch while he rests his head on Shepard’s thigh and enjoys having his back scratched through his shirt. He's not sure why John picked it.  
  
“So... I’ve got a question,” John starts. So relaxed that he was on the verge of napping, the best Kaidan can manage in response is an encouraging hum. “You know how you said you didn’t care what your ring was made out of?”

A jolt of concern brings Kaidan out of his sleepy lull. While it was true that the ring itself wasn’t anywhere near as important to him as the man it came from, he had assumed there was some unspoken baseline standard. He’d forgotten completely that when it came to social graces John tried, but he didn’t always grasp the obvious.  
  
“I said I trusted you,” Kaidan gently corrects. He hopes that he hadn’t made a mistake.  
  
“Well, I spent a lot of time thinking about this-” Okay. That begins to set Alenko’s mind at ease. “-and I had an idea that seemed really great at the time, but now I’m not so sure. I might have overthought the whole ‘deeper meaning’ thing and lost sight of the actual ring.”  
  
Kaidan asks if he can see it. Shepard stalls until Alenko sits up and uses his superior officer voice to order him into action. With a reluctant groan, Shepard disappears into the bedroom. While he waits Kaidan digs the remote out of the couch cushions and mutes the movie. It doesn't bother him much that he'll miss the ending. He can't relate to _Vaenia_ on any level, certainly not enough to be more curious about it than whatever John is about to drop in his lap.  
  
Shepard returns to him with a small felt box but he’s clearly misplaced his confidence. He plops back down next to Kaidan and looks as though he’d rather be doing anything else but this.  
  
“Look, if you don’t like it, don’t worry, I’ll get a real one-“  
  
What Kaidan _meant_ to do was press the back of his fingers to Shepard’s lips to staunch the nervous backpedaling. Instead, he accidentally smacks his fiancé in the mouth a little harder than intended. With an apologetic grin, he says, “You sound like my mother.”

"Don't you ever say that to me again."

He makes sure John can see him playfully roll his eyes.

With all that build up Kaidan was expecting a real eyebrow-raiser, like a yahg’s tooth with a hole drilled through the middle or something. Rather, what he pulls out is an attractive silver band with two narrow grooves tracking the circumference, between which is a crosshatch etching. It's more ornate than the one he’d given Shepard though not to the point of being ostentatious. It's a perfect fit, though Kaidan doesn't recall having his finger sized.  
  
“This is really nice, John. Platinum?” Even as he asks, Kaidan suspects it's not. The metal is professionally brushed and polished but it has a familiar grain.  
  
“Some of it. The rest is… um. Okay, do you remember those tags I had in a shadowbox back on the Normandy?”  
  
Kaidan freezes. Oh, yes. He remembers those dog tags well. He has a set just like them. One proclaimed everything he was, bearing his name, rank, date of birth, blood type, nationality; all the military essentials with the added line of “BIOTIC - L2 CLASS” engraved in the refined steel. The second declared where he belonged back when they were issued, stamped with the silhouette of the _Normandy_ SR-1. The difference between his and John's was that his were still pristine, shoved in a box somewhere years ago when Kaidan couldn’t look at them without flashing back to the ship being blasted apart around him. Kaidan had been shocked the first time he was invited up to the new captain's suite and snooped through Shepard's things. The commander's old tags had been mounted and framed. They looked like they’d been through hell, charred steel compromised by heat and atmosphere, a jarring reminder of a horrific trauma casually sitting on the commander’s desk.  
  
He thumbs the ring as he realizes what he is holding.

“You had them melted down?”  
  
“They had to plate it with platinum to get enough to make a ring, but yeah, that’s them. I didn't see until after it was done that it might seem messed up if you don't know what I was thinking at the time. See, those tags - I was wearing them on the worst day of my life. The last day of my life, technically. But I was also wearing them when I met you, and I was wearing them when we would hang out in my quarters after B-rotation and talk for hours about anything. I had them when we landed on Ilos and then the Citadel where we saved the galaxy the _first_ time-" They both chuckle. "-and you were right there with me, propping me up through it all. Things between us... It wasn't always easy, but even when we were apart I thought about you. Every time I'd look at those tags and thought back to the old _Normandy_ , it wasn't the attack that came to me first. I'd wonder what you were doing or where you were, if you were thinking about me too? Some of the worst bullshit that has ever happened to me happened when I was in those dog tags, but because of you so did some of the best stuff." He swallows hard. Then begins the rambling. "And, you know, then there's all the ‘not even death will keep me away from you’ thing. Sorry, Kaidan. I’m not really… good… at this.”  
  
Shepard’s pauses are caused by Kaidan taking him by the chin and planting kisses on his lips until, finally, he stops talking.  
  


* * *

  
For the umpteenth time, Kaidan brushes an imaginary piece of lint from his jacket. He knows his uniform is immaculate. Every crease is pressed, his cap is on straight, and the officer’s bars are polished and smudge-free. Still, he can't help the compulsive adjustments. In a roundabout way it's good they had decided upon a military ceremony. Checking himself against the dress code gives Kaidan something to focus on other than how tight his stomach feels. Besides, he can pull off formal Navy attire better than he ever could a tux. Makes him feel a little less out of his element.  
  
Kaidan shoots a sidelong glance to the man at his side. Shepard is the definition of composure in his dress blues, clean-shaven with eyes ahead and back ramrod straight. The dauntless hero who never publicly flinched in the face of the Reapers wouldn’t break down over a private ceremony with less than two-hundred spectators, but Kaidan can sense turmoil beneath the surface. Shepard is practically radiating electricity. Not enough to distort gravity in any significant way, but enough that the subtle bleed of his biotic aura strums at the major’s nervous system.  
  
“You ready?” he asks, voice low enough that only John can hear.  
  
“Yes.” Perhaps realizing how clipped he sounds, Shepard takes a deep breath and rolls his shoulders. “I’m so nervous I could piss myself and I’m sweating through this suit, but I’m ready.”  
  
Kaidan grins in spite of himself. That was another part of code: you aren't supposed to smile while in the uniform dress. Not that anyone was going to dock the galaxy’s heroes for it, especially on their wedding day.  
  
“We’ll make it,” he promises Shepard just as their handler, a petty officer who stands a full head shorter than either of them even in heels, appears and wishes the couple luck. And though at that moment Kaidan suddenly can't remember how to start his vows, nor which foot to step with first when they started walking, and — _Oh, God, do I have the ring? Yes, left pocket_ — a small, quiet part of him is completely tranquil. The coordinator stands along the wall and counts down on her fingers to them: 3, 2, 1…  
  
The doors open into the wedding hall, and in perfect unison, Kaidan Alenko and John Shepard stepped forward. Right foot first.  
  
They're going to be just fine.


End file.
